Self-Compassion Letter Instructions:

1) First, identify an area in which you’ve been struggling. This could be something about yourself that makes you feel ashamed or discouraged, a personal challenge, a difficult relationship, a perceived shortcoming, or an experience you wish you would have handled differently. 

2) What are the difficult thoughts that you notice coming up about this challenge? Identify the top 2 or 3 self-criticisms or limiting beliefs that are part of this experience, and write them down using the prompt: What my mind is saying about this: (write your responses using quotes).

3) Close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths to settle into your body. Extend the outbreath… letting your body know it’s ok relax… and taking a few moments to pay attention to the aliveness in your body.

4) Now imagine that you have the opportunity to connect with your wise and compassionate future self. Imagine that this future self has the benefit of many years of practicing self-compassion. Your future self is drawing from decades of perspective and life experience. Sense the wisdom in your future self, and tap into the love that your future self has for you, knowing exactly what it’s like to go through the challenges you’re facing.

5) Write a letter to yourself, from the perspective of your future self, expressing compassion, understanding, and encouragement (write using the second person; i.e., “Dear Megan,…”). Consider writing the letter out with pen and paper, perhaps with stationery if available, and (if you'd like) decorating it with drawings, stickers, doodles, etc.

6) Let the words flow freely; no need to edit or choose words carefully. What does your future self want you to know right now? Write for a while, and when thoughts start to slow down, see if additional words come from these prompts:

• I really want you to know…
• I’d love for you to remember…
• I wish you could see...
• I promise you...
• More than anything... 

7) When you feel like you’ve finished, review the letter with gratitude for your future self, and really allow the feelings of love and understanding to sink in to you.

8) Finally, consider “What do I need to do now to move forward in a healthy way?” Write down these thoughts, and make a specific action plan for putting these ideas into practice. 

9) You can come back to this letter in the future whenever you’re feeling stuck or discouraged, sensing into the love and wise counsel your future self has for you, and revisiting the constructive actions you can take.

[If it feels difficult to write the letter from the perspective of your future self, you can write it from the perspective of a “Compassionate Benefactor” as in Lesson 3.6.]